today i finally am launching my blog! im excited and nervous as hell too. hope you all enjoy…happy holidays everyone and be safe ; )
Monthly Archives: December 2011
for my chapters annual holiday party (ee-yip) 2 weekends ago,I decided to spend almost 3 hours making treats. crazy, i know but it was fun. i made pudding pie (which not one person ate, pudding pie is one of those things were if u don’t know about it, you will look at it like wth is this), cake pops and christmas sprinkle cookie snadwichs.the cake pops..those were annoying to make,and my second batch just was a mess. i put way too much frosting so they kept sliding off the sticks : ( but mr.waka ate them so,they couldn’t have been that bad,lol.
the christmas sprinkle cookie sandwiches (you can find the exact recipe on fellow wordpress blogger Nate Bakes Cookies) can out wonderful,they are very easy to make.
1. follow the directions on the box (yeah it wasn’t from scratch *shrug* don’t judge me) i decided to use Funfetti cake mix, to turn cake mix into cookie dough,just use one less egg.
2. roll the dough into tiny balls.
3. cover each ball with sprinkles, colored sugar, pecans…whatever topping you like.
4. depending on how you like your cookies, bake for appx 6 to 8 mins, let your cookies cool.
5. place icing of your choice in the middle of 2 cookies (obviously the sprinkle sides facing out)to make your sandwich and voila, christmas sprinkle cookie sandwiches!
my daughter will be 6 months in less than 3 weeks! where has the time gone? she’s only a little over 5 1/2 months but has the energy of a 9 month old. she was my Christmas gift last year (as today last year, i learned i was pregnant) and is still my gift this year, and every year after.
a few weeks ago, when asked in an interview “what’s the best thing about motherhood?” Alicia Keys said something to the effect of, being able to watch someone, your child,learn,grow and develop. and its so true. for 9 months (well in my case 8, cuppycake came early) you physically feel them grow inside you, which is an experience, but that doesn’t compare to when they are out your womb. everyday, i am able to witness her grow, learn about the world around her, what she likes. doesn’t like. What makes her smile, sometimes frown. she develops her own little intelligent mind and personality. its truly amazing. and from her i have learned so much both as a mom and as a woman.
here’s some of what ive learned thus far…
-your not fat, you had a baby. its okay if the weight doesn’t slide right off,everyones body is different.
-drool, spit-up, sometimes pee/poop will be on your clothes, accept it.
-when everyone tells you at your baby shower, sleep when she/he sleeps, do it, otherwise you will exhaust yourself.
-eventually they sleep all night, don’t panic, nothings wrong, they are just getting older and developing a sleeping pattern.
-teething is horrible, but you will be okay.
-always take sometime out for yourself to relax and de-stress.
-nothing you will read in a book or Google will prepare you to be a first time mom, its okay to make mistakes and not be perfect. that’s life and every good mom has their flaws and hiccups every once in awhile.
*time really does fly, cherish every moment, no matter how big nor small*
whats even more funny, is that i know women who actually wear makeup this way, and not as a joke….i think before the year is up i might do a post about the top 5 makeup mistakes black women make..its very much needed…lol, enjoy!
okay, so i know a girl, well a woman because i believe she is in her late 30’s but does age really equal being a woman though? anyway, back to what i was saying… we will call her Becky, she has been dating a man, we will call him Bobby for 6 years. in Bobby’s previous relationship, he dated a woman who became so enraged and angry with him during an argument and attempted break up, that she set Bobby’s family’s house on fire. no, this is not an episode of Snapped or Deadly Women, this is real life. lol. set the house on fire like Left Eye! well, although the crazed ex girlfriend spent time in jail for the fire and has been banned for life from Bobby’s neighborhood, apparently Bobby never quite cut things off with the crazed ex (we will call her Phoenix).
last year, fourth of July 2010, Becky found out Bobby had been talking to Phoenix secretly. after an argument and temporary breakup, they got back together. this past summer, Becky began to receive text messages from Phoenix (from Bobby’s phone, yeah process that)stating typical bird statements..i got yo man hoe, he in my bed..blah blah, chirp chirp. Becky decided she had enough and broke off her relationship with Bobby but, due to a death in Bobby’s family and the want to be supportive, Becky and Bobby got back together.
a few weeks ago, late one night (because it’s always late at night when some drama goes down right?) Becky received text messages once again from Phoenix from you guessed it Bobby’s phone. but wait, these weren’t any old text messages, these were pictures of Bobby engaged in explicit sexual acts with Phoenix (cunnilingus to be exact..im not making this up y’all). after going on a rampage and showing the picture messages to everyone (including me) in the neighborhood, yelling, screaming, crying and even throwing a punch or two, all Becky had to say was why?
why did he do this to me? how could he? why me?….what did i do wrong? why…why..why?
as i stood there listening to Becky ask why over and over again, pouring her heart out to me i couldn’t help but sympathize with her. i knew what she was feeling.and i knew it very well. a few years ago while in college (TU!) i dated a man, well no he was an OGRE, off and on for about 2.5 years. he was a popular football player, typical macho muscle man, charming, dumb as rocks (i mean dumb, as in couldnt navigate his way though the library dumb)and a player. but more importantly (and dangerously) he was a user, manipulator and liar. that man could lie the fur off a cat! and i was putty in his hands and web of deceit. after going back and forth with the games, lies, and his other
women conquests coming up to me i still didn’t have enough. having my best friend catch him red handed cheating on me, showing up to his house throwing punches and tearing his room up, crying, and going to class with out a bra on, no makeup, hair a mess and wearing the same sweat pants for about 2.5 months (yes, i did that, lol, i was in a very dark place y’all), i still had not had enough. and oh i cried and cried, asked why, what did i do wrong, was it me? am i not enough?, why? why? why?
i still had not had enough. i went back to him a few months later after he apologized with tears in his eyes, i went back. the summer came and went, and it was back to the same drama, and i still did not have enough.
it wasnt until one day walking home from class down Diamond Street, listening to Jill Scotts “I Just Wanna Be Loved” that i reached an epiphany. the man i had been dating off and on for almost 3 years, just simply did not love me and was not into me (come to find out he’s not into women actually…yeeeaaa one of those). and so i finally sent him a long text message getting everything i had been wanting to say for over a year, out. in his response of “im sorry, i never really loved you”. i had finally had enough. in that moment i realized, i am much too good for this shit and for him and one day i will find someone who will love me just as much as i love them. it wont be a relationship where im in love with the idea of being in love or being in a relationship, which is something that alot of us women do. it would be a relationship where i was loved for who i was, what i said, what i thought…loved especially different.
and though not always perfect, i found that especially different love in my future husband [we will call him mr.waka as that is his favorite artist lol]
i wanted to share my story with Becky and shake her and say run girl, ruuuuuuunnnnn! he doesn’t love you and never will, that’s why, there is no other answer but that. but i said nothing, because i knew she hasnt had enough yet.
what say you?…in a relationship, when is enough, enough?
so if you havent heard, the latest issue of Dutch magazine Jackie, decided that the best title and description to give Rhianna was *drum roll please*…N***AB***H…in case you need some clarity, that would be NIGGABITCH…oh yes, they did that. not only did they do that but they also hinted at the fact that she is that of a loose woman (“whats on can come off”), that she is a “ghetto-ass“, and is also Jamaican,which is news to me. while i could care less about Rhianna’s sexual activities…N***aB***H, is just, not okay. AT ALL. NEVER. i almost wanted to burst out laughing and then, to read that the title was meant as a joke, i stopped laughing and here is why:
1. Rhianna for one is from Barbados, i know all black people regardless of shade, cultural/ethnic background, accent, etc, we are all the same and from the same place correct, (just like Africa is one big, one-dimensional monolithic continent, but that is another conversation for another day) so why fact check that info?
2. the title, i can not. nothing is ever funny about degrading a woman by calling her a bitch and more importantly nothing is ever, EVER, EVVVVERRR FUNNY about calling a black person a nigga. it’s never okay. im sure someone said “well they say it?” and “its with the a at the end so its okay” and the infamous “hey, one of my best friends is black, im not a racist for this” (if i had a dollar for every time i heard that in college)umm, actually you are,pull the invisible white pointy hood off your head and realize what you are. while some may believe that since its 2011 and Obama is president that we live in a post racism world, where racial injustices do not exist…well this is proof that is does, it’s everywhere and im sad to say that is exists heavily in the two industries that i love the most; fashion and journalism.
3. so what makes it even better is, the editor in chief Eva Hoeke, in her sad attempt at an apology stated that somehow magically, though it was not meant to be offensive or racist, the title of NIGGABITCH, “slipped” through her hands. *blank stare*
how clueless can you be? no, you’re not clueless you knew exactly what you (and your staff) were doing. being that one of my undergrad degrees was in journalism, magazine journalism at that, Ms.Hoeke, you are a big fat liar, dont insult my intelligence and further insult the intelligence of millions of black women (including Rhianna who went off on her Twitter) around the world and especially black women in your country who read your damn magazine by using the cop-out of “opps it slipped”. sorry mam, im not buying.no one is actually. before a magazine is published it goes through several hands, editors, fact checkers, assistants, writers, layout and design departments, i mean please look at how many people are listed on a masthead and that sometimes doesn’t even include all staff, further more when you plan your year in advance, there is mass in-depth discussion about what will be placed in each issue, so this is something that was discussed, was decided a good idea and no it was a FAIL. EPIC FAIL.
Jackie Magazine and Eva Hoeke, your seats are right this way
ps. the EIC of Jackie Magazine has now resigned, bye bye blackhead!